Dear brothers and sisters of Arundel & Brighton,
Towards the end of November, we had the third of three sessions of on-going formation for the clergy of the diocese. This particular one, for the clergy of East Sussex, took place in Ashburnham, near Battle. We were welcomed and helped by a group of young people, there for work and for the opportunity to learn English. A number of them were from Eastern Europe, and they had their country of origin on their badges. I noticed the badge of the young man serving coffee as we arrived. "Kazakhstan!" I said to him. He nodded, with a resigned look on his face. "Yes," he said, "you all know about it now."
We know more about because of a recent film. A film not to everybody’s taste, but interesting nonetheless. The film Borat is Sacha Baron Cohen pretending to be a journalist from Kazakhstan, and being offensive to people in the United States, either by pretending to share some extreme right-wing political views, or by indulging in behaviour which appears to be naïve and is socially completely unacceptable. An early example of such behaviour is the so-called Borat in the streets of New York, approaching American men and acting in a way he regards as extremely friendly, implying that such behaviour is normal in Kazakhstan. The reaction of some of the men is almost frightening in its strength and the violence very near the surface. What Borat does in making physical contact with strangers is violate a particularly strong American taboo, which is to invade someone’s personal space. It seems to be clear to everyone but him that you do not go up to strangers and act in any way that we would call ‘familiar’.
That use of the word ‘familiar’ in our culture is quite interesting. Often it does have that implication of transgressing boundaries – it is sometimes used as a complaint; "He was being too familiar with me." But the origin if the word is simply ‘family’. ‘Familiar’ is what a family is, or should be. And this suggests that there is a special relationship within a family that does not exist outside it. And those relationships within the family are very complex: I remember preaching about relationships in Lourdes some years ago, and remarking how odd it was – in some ways – that the people we are closest to are our parents, yet few people use anything other than quite a formal title for them, "mum and dad" or "father and mother". Few people call their parents by their first names.
And not only are those relationships complex, but what we mean by ‘family’ will differ, according to our personal situation. Being a celibate, I am not an expert on family life, and will not make the usual claim that I do belong to a family myself – I don’t think that gives me an insight into what parents are faced with today. But I think that we have to recognise that the experience of family today is felt in many different ways. The gospel reading for today gives us a picture of family that is not easily acceptable within traditional British culture – Jesus’ parents assume he is somewhere within the extended family of brothers, sisters and cousins. Individuals who – for whatever reason – are single, may well have a strong sense of family, and that may not be people actually related to them. I suspect that the last fifty years have shifted many boundaries and re-defined many traditional concepts, family being one of them.
The readings for today, the Feast of the Holy Family, all speak of family. The first reading is from a section of the Old Testament we call Wisdom Literature, and the passage from the Book of Ecclesiasticus is little more than a list of sayings about relationships within family, especially with regard to the father of that family – remember where and when it was written. The passage from St Paul’s letter to the Christian community at Colossae begins with Paul addressing the whole of that church, but then, almost without pause or break, he begins to talk about wives, husbands and children. For him, the notion of ‘family’ might well apply equally to both.
As well as the Feast of the Holy Family, today also marks the launch of the second part of a three-phase programme that came out of the ‘Listening 2004’ programme. Many of you responded to that, and in 2006 the first part of the response was launched, called "Everybody’s Welcome", with its focus on the parish as a welcoming place. Today we launch part two: "Home is a Holy Place". It is an appeal to make each home a place where God is somehow more visible. Many of the responses to the Listening 2004 initiative spoke of the importance of the gospel and individual prayer in their lives, but few seemed to show much awareness of God in the home.
Part of the reason for this is clear enough: at home we have to live out the trials of life and the tensions that can exist within close relationships. Who finished the milk and put the empty carton back in the fridge? Just how long do you have to spend in the bathroom? If you’re going to take a message, why do you not pass it on? Add your own complaints to this list, but not now.
The other week I suggested that we might try and get back into some traditional Catholic practices, like grace before meals and fasting and abstinence, and also embracing the "livesimply" campaign. I was delighted to hear of one young parishioner who went home, demanded that the family prayed before eating, and then went upstairs and crossed things off his Christmas list. Well done, you. So what about the house and its Christian and Catholic identity? Is there anything to show a visitor that believers live here? Is there a bible in sight? Is there a crucifix on the wall anywhere? It doesn’t have to be life-size or suggest that this is a centre for religious fanaticism, so don’t bother asking for a real drink. There are some bright, modern crucifixes that speak of a Jesus suffering in solidarity with today’s poor. Just inside my front door I have a modern crucifix that came from Peru. The trunk of the cross is a spade, the cross beam a machete; the figure on the cross is dressed as a campesino, a peasant.
God’s address is not the church you’re in at the moment. The final encouragement at the end of Mass is to go out and to love and serve the Lord. The first place to demonstrate that love and service is at home. It might be an idea then to carry that into someone else’s home, especially if that home has a person living alone. Throughout the year there will be other ideas and resources available on the website called by the same name as the campaign – homeisaholyplace.org.uk. It’s all one word and in lower case.
I take the opportunity to wish you all a very happy, peaceful and blessed new year. And in the comfort of the security that we live in, let’s not forget those whose suffering will go on, seemingly without an end in sight. Let’s not forget those who are suffering the effects of war, a war they did not bring on themselves. Let us pray that the vision of just one family on earth might one day become reality.
Bishop of Arundel & Brighton
